Ten interesting things after visiting Portland

After having spent seven tiring, MAX-fuelled days in the wonderful city of Portland, this is my brief report. I was going to put my entire day-to-day diary online, but who wants to read page-after-page of ‘Wow, cool! Clean! Friendly! Crazy! Wow!’?

If you do, just say the word.

1. Getting into the country via PDX is a pain in the behind – the immigration centre feels tiny and a little like a school assembly hall. The immigration officials, though, were the friendliest I’ve ever talked to. Even after the hassle of having to scan both index fingers and one eye of everyone entering without a US passport. But having the MAX light rail station just outside the terminal building was perfect.
2. The Ace Hotel makes an instant impression: its deliberately recycled look gives it the feel of a run-down hotel that’s been given a fresh coat of paint. The staff were ultra-friendly and the rooms were clean and simple. I became a big fan of our bathroom’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest chic.
3. I never knew there were so many different kinds of rain. Portland’s a meteorological education: in one day it can pour down, it can drizzle, and the rain can just can of hang there, like you’re being rained on in Matrix slo-mo. If you like rain in all its myriad possibilities, you’ll love Portland.
4. Eccentrics? They got ‘em. The lady who will sing you a song for a dollar. The man who flings his cowboy boot (and cuss word or two) at passing ambulances. A whole band begging for money on the “sidewalk”: their sign said ‘we are the apocalypse’. The man walking in front of us, counting everything. Sidewalk Elvis (we were ‘a wonderful audience’). Man on the MAX platform, roaring like a lion. This had led to us devising a bumper sticker: ‘Portland: a Whole Lot of Crazy!’ We’re in love, you see.
5. Jake’s is a great place to eat, whether you’re after a burger and beer, or something a little fancier. You’ll mix with well-dressed folk-around-town, and tourists (like me) wearing jeans and novelty T-shirts. And in the movie, my spectacular waiter will be played by Nathan Lane.
6. Polar bears can do the backstroke. No, really. There’s one at Portland Zoo. There we also learned you can scare off a mountain lion by staring them down, but not a bear. You try to stare a bear down, he’s having your head – guaranteed. We didn’t get the chance to check these little of nuggets of wisdom out, sadly. Maybe next time.
7. See the Japanese Gardens. It’s worth the airfare alone. Get there by walking through Hoyt Arboretum, rather than any of that driving nonsense. But wear proper walking shoes. Stroll by the wonderful houses belonging to people who actually live there. Try not to hate them.
8. Powell’s book store practically has its own area code. If it built a tunnel to the Whole Food Store up the street a bit, you could happily shuttle between the two and never have to face the outside world again.
9. The walk from the bottom of the hill to Pittock Mansion can kill the old, infirm, and terminally out-of-shape. But leave them behind and stride on to the summit. The house is fine for history buffs. But the real treasure is the view. Wonderful.
10. They’re building houses all along the MAX track. Houses for people who want to live in places like Portland. Which is very kind of them.